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No one really needs to get hurt by anger...

By fully and unashamedly recognizing our anger as one of our many human emotions, we can begin a proper relationship with it. Make friends with it. Begin to learn to master it.
We must encourage younger generations to do so too. Start teaching them  from an early age, that its alright to have their anger at what seems unfair and unjust, but also teach them how to have a voice that allows them to channel their anger positively, whether that be in words, in action or creatively.  We are often told what we can't or shouldn't do when we get angry. 
How often are we given tools for or advised about what we can do? Not enough, or maybe we wouldn't be in some of the messes we find this world in today. Or even in our personal lives - we could level a brewing scenario quite quickly, I think, if we  knew what we could do in the moment to appease our anger emotion. No one really needs to get hurt by anger. People will, but it doesn't always have to be the case.

Some Tips

1) Listen. 
Sometimes what is being said is not about you. It's about the speaker. What comes from their mouths reveals more about them than it does about you. There might be no need to even get angry.

2) Listen.
That sensation in your body that makes you want to damage something is telling you to breathe. When we get angry we shallow breathe. Consciously breathe deeply. It lowers your heart rate, gets oxygen to the brain so you can think clearly.

3) Listen.
Check the tone in your voice as you express. It communicates a lot. We learn to respond to tone as babies and children. Keep it firm. No real need to shout. Let the person know you are serious. 

4) Resist.
Some times people just want to bait you. You can decide to rise (react) to that baiting, or thoughtfully and consciously respond to it. How you choose to will determine how well or positively the scenario ends.

5)Don't believe the hype
Often people say, "yeah but in the heat of the moment..." 
True, some things just fly from us 'in the moment', but the hype that losing it is something you cannot control is not. You can control the moment and how your anger manifest in it. Every time - if you choose to respond to the moment and just not react to it.

6) Time Out
Nothing wrong with walking away from a scenario if you need time to think, find your words and express your ideas to communicate your grievance. It's all about boundaries. When someone steps over your 'line', there comes a time to let them know. Tell them you need a moment, that you'll get back to them. Then get back to them.

- Zena Edwards


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